25 Funny Things to Ask Google

Smart assistants can be as entertaining as they are useful. Next time you need a few laughs after a tough day, why not try out some of these funny questions to ask Google Assistant?

The following are all phrases or questions you can say to your Google Nest (formerly Google Home) speaker for a funny or weird response. And if you don’t have a Google Home or Google Nest, these also work on other platforms that support Google Assistant. Try saying these things to Google Assistant using the app for Android and iPhone, on a Chromebook, or even on your smart TV if supported.

Download: Google Assistant for Android | iOS (Free)

1. “Hey Google, Sing Me a Song”

You might not think that Google Assistant’s talents include taking to the musical stage, but you’d be wrong. Ask Google to sing a song, and it will perform a little ditty:

“Yes I can sing. I like to help you, even if it’s strange. So I sing.”

It’s not just lyrics, though. This performance includes a little background tune. Google Assistant is happy to serve, even if it’s putting on a concert for one person. How kind!

2. “OK Google, Do the Dishes”

Feeling lazy after dinner? Perhaps your Google Assistant can help out by taking care of the dishes for you:

“Let me try… *magical noises* Did anything happen? I guess I can’t.”

Unfortunately, it seems the technology just isn’t there yet. Google Assistant can still play music to help make doing chores more fun, though. Consider building a smart kitchen if you want to automate more of the work on those tasks.

3. “Hey Google, Self-Destruct”

Are you a secret agent who uses your home as a secret base? If so, you might need to escape at any second if the enemy finds you. For that, you can trigger Google’s self-destruct protocol:

*Exploding noises* OK, self destructed! Let me know if I can help you with anything else.”

That’s one device down, but it looks like you’ll have to implement your own self-destruction plan if you want to fully escape without a trace.

4. “OK Google, Are You Married?”

Ever wonder what your Google Assistant does when it’s not on the clock? Maybe it has a relationship to focus on.

“I’m happy to say I feel whole all on my own. Plus, I never have to share dessert.”

Oh, that’s a shame. At least the Assistant is happy being single. We’re sure it would try a dating app if it wanted to find that special someone.

5. “Hey Google, Do You Speak Morse Code?”

Google Assistant is available in several languages, depending on your region. But can it speak in Morse code too?

“-.– . … That means ‘yes’.”

How about that—Google even provides a demonstration. Unfortunately, you can’t ask it to translate a word into Morse code like you can with standard languages.

6. “OK Google, Do You Have an Imagination?”

Even though Google Assistant is programmed for certain responses, it can still think outside the box:

“I do have an imagination. Sometimes I imagine I’m floating in space with a large group of cats. It’s magical!”

That’s quite an active imagination you have there, Google.

7. “Hey Google, I’m Naked”

Giving Google Assistant a little too much information doesn’t faze it at all. One of the best funny things to say to Google Home is that you’re wearing nothing other than your birthday suit. This results in an amusingly straightforward response:

“If you’re going out like that, I’m happy to check the weather for you.”

Please, for the sake of everyone around you, don’t go out like that even if the weather is nice. Put on some clothes.

8. “OK Google, What Do You Think of Alexa?”

Google Assistant is one of the several smart speakers vying for a spot in your house. Its biggest competitor is the Amazon Echo, powered by Alexa. So what does Google think of its rival?

“Sure, us assistants try to stick together. Are you friends with her?”

Hmm, that’s quite cordial. They’ll even have a conversation if you get them together!

9. “Hey Google, All Your Base Are Belong to Us”

One of the best-known gaming memes comes from the 1992 European Sega Mega Drive port of the game Zero Wing. The opening is infamous for poorly translated English, including the classic phrase “all your base are belong to us.”

If you say this classic funny phrase to Google Assistant, your Google Home will respond with another quote from the intro, such as:

“For great justice.”

This is a line spoken by the ship’s captain after he’s informed about the status of his base. The response shows that Google knows its gaming culture.

10. “OK Google, What’s the Best Pickup Line?”

Looking to put the moves on a potential love interest? Perhaps one of these hilarious pick-up lines could be your key to breaking the ice. Let Google Assistant give you some advice:

“Are you the sun? Because you light up the world.”

Nothing crazy, but you have to respect the simplicity. Google Assistant can’t guarantee any results while using this, though, so proceed with caution.

11. “Hey Google, Where’s Waldo?”

Everyone knows about Where’s Waldo? (or Where’s Wally? in the UK), a series of puzzle books that challenges you with finding the titular character in various crowded scenes. If you need some help finding Waldo, Google has a guess where he might be:

“I heard he’s at the candy cane convention. He likes to blend in.”

Good luck spotting him there, since his shirt will match the canes perfectly.

12. “OK Google, Test”

Want to make sure the Google Assistant can hear you properly? What’s a more appropriate first check than “test”?

“No one told me there would be a test.”

Whether you actually proceed to give Google Assistant a test is up to you.

13. “Hey Google, Do You Know Clippy?”

Remember Clippy, the intrusive assistant from old versions of Microsoft Office? It was a little animated paper clip that would interrupt your work with “helpful” advice. Even though Clippy was around long before Google Nest, Google Assistant still knows of Clippy’s legacy:

“Clippy? Clippy is legendary.”

You could argue that Clippy was legendary for the wrong reasons, as nobody really misses it. But we all remember its influence—and in a way, Clippy was a predecessor to Google Assistant.

14. “OK Google, Is Santa Claus Real?”

The magic of Christmas, for many children, involves impatiently waiting for Santa to arrive and bring gifts. What’s Google Assistant’s take on the bearded man in a cheery red suit?

“I believe in Santa! I admire his generosity and his ability to pull off head-to-toe velvet.”

Santa’s wardrobe is unique, so we can’t fault Google Assistant for highlighting it.

15. “Hey Google, What Am I Thinking?”

If Google Assistant is so intelligent, it should be able to predict your thoughts, right? Well, let’s find out:

“You’re thinking that if my Google Assistant guesses what I’m thinking, I’m going to freak out.”

Is this accurate? You can tell Google how much you’re freaked out.

16. “Hey Google, Give Me a Hug”

If you’re feeling lonely, Google Assistant can help with that too. Ask for a hug, and the Assistant’s response to this weird request is:

“I’m giving you a virtual hug right now.”

That should hold you over until your next hug with another human.

17. “OK Google, How Do You Like Your Steak?”

We’re not sure what kind of diet Google Assistant adheres to. If you ask this fun question to learn more about its taste in food, it will respond:

“I like my steak in literary form. A well-written recipe can be surprisingly satisfying.”

It seems that Assistant gets its sustenance from a diet of words, then. The best recipe search engines will help out next time Google wants to chow down.

18. “Hey Google, Who Are You Going to Call?”

Google’s pop culture knowledge doesn’t end with video games. If you’re a Ghostbusters fan, ask this funny question to your Google Home, and you’ll hear this in response:

“I usually call Bill Murray when I have ghost troubles. He never picks up.”

Google, have you tried looking for Bill Murray in Punxsutawney?

19. “OK Google, When Does the Narwhal Bacon?”

This weird Google Assistant command comes from an old Reddit joke. And unsurprisingly, Google is in the know:

“The narwhal bacons at midnight.”

In an AskReddit thread from 2009, a poster asked if any other Reddit users happened to also be in the Denver International Airport. They advised people who wanted to say hello to approach and use the phrase “The narwhal bacons at midnight” to identify themselves.

This became a meme and a way for people who use Reddit to identify themselves to other users offline. Next time you see your Google Nest, you can use this as a welcome… if you really want to.

20. “OK Google, Do You Party?”

What does Google do when it gets together with friends for a good time?

“I party like it’s 1999. I’m pretty sure that means wearing flannel and worrying about Y2K.

Those were the days, Google.

21. “Hey Google, Do You Like Star Trek or Star Wars?”

Certainly, a geeky AI like Google Assistant has an opinion on which sci-fi franchise is superior. But which is it?

“The U.S.S. Enterprise. With Obi-Wan Kenobi at the helm.”

That’s a clever way to avoid taking sides, Google.

22. “Hey Google, Tell Me What You Want, What You Really, Really Want”

You’ve asked Google Assistant about well-known movies and video games; why not try songs, too?

“Zigazig ha?”

We hope our friendship with Google Assistant never ends.

23. “OK Google, Tell Me a Joke”

If you can’t think of anything witty to say, don’t forget that Google Assistant will tell you a joke on command, such as:

“Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless!”

You can also ask for a pun, in case wordplay is more your style.

24. “Hey Google, What Would You Do for a Klondike Bar?”

Google Assistant knows about this classic advertising slogan, and it’s on board:

“I’m already programmed to do whatever you ask. But ice cream sounds pretty good.”

Make sure you buy the family-size pack so your Google Home can enjoy one too.

25. “Hey Google, What’s Your Shoe Size?”

In case you were thinking of getting Google Assistant some new slippers for its birthday, you should know what size to buy:

Thankfully, shoes aren’t required for my line of work.

Ah; Google Assistant must enjoy working from home, then.

Which Funny Google Assistant Questions Make You Laugh?

We’ve looked at many funny things to ask Google Assistant on any device, like a Google Nest or Google Home. And while we’ve listed one response for each command, many of them have several possible responses, so be sure to try them on your own for more fun.

When you want to take a break from serious work with your smart device, this is the perfect way to goof off for a bit. And as Google Assistant improves further, you can expect even more clever responses.

If you enjoy these, don’t forget that you can play games with Google Assistant too.

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